Tag: Relationship

Can Mediation Turn Back the Clock?

Reverse clock with wooden frame isolated on white background

I’ve written before about what success means in mediation. Often it means a complete resolution of a dispute and the parties can go on their way, having saved lots of time, aggravation, and a bundle in litigation expenses. Even when there is not a complete resolution, mediation often resolves at least part of a dispute or helps the parties significantly lessen the amount of discovery needed as the case moves forward. However, can mediation undo what’s been done? Can it restore the parties to some kind of pre-dispute state of harmony?

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Mediating Family Business Disputes

{3:42 minutes to read} In my previous blog post on this topic, I described some of the general issues that arise  What Would a Successful Family Mediation Outcome Be? by Gary Shafferduring a mediation involving an intra-family commercial dispute. These included:

  • Resentments built up slowly over time;
  • Allies and enemies;
  • Divergent recollections; and
  • Emerging “alternate truths.”

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Getting Divorced but Living Together?

{3:54 minutes to read} When most people get divorced the last thing they want to do is continue living together in  Getting Divorced but Living Together? by Gary Shafferthe same house. One of the prime reasons to get divorced is so you no longer have to live with that crackpot, jerk, cheat, ne’er-do-well, liar, energy-sucker.

When there are no kids, this is usually an easy decision. Hasta la vista, baby. But life isn’t always neat, and when there are children and limited resources, keeping the family home may be the best way to harness those resources and maintain stability.

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Mediation: Post-Nup as Marriage Counseling and Marriage Preservation

Mediation Post-Nup as Marriage Counseling and Marriage Preservation By Gary Shaffer{4:12 minutes to read} Sometimes couples who come to mediation are unsure if they really want to get divorced. They may not even know they are unsure.  

There are all sorts of reasons for people in a rocky relationship to stay together. The two that stand out are kids and financial resources. Even for well-off couples, the cost of post-divorce life is often surprising.

Bickering parents, of course, can be a source of great strain for children and sometimes breaking up can bring a measure of relief to everyone. But the strains in a relationship may not be ones that require breaking up and many couples might ideally like to stay together permanently, or at least until the kids are grown—meaning after high school or college—when financial pressures are reduced.

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Appellate Mediations – Part 2

Appellate Mediations - Part 2 By Gary Shaffer{3:30 minutes to read}

In my last blogI discussed why mediating a case on appeal often makes sense, even to the party that has won Round 1. This time I want to focus on the potential risks and benefits that winners and losers face in the appeal process and how that affects their willingness to mediate.

Losers

If you lose on appeal, you really lose, and perhaps with greater consequences.  No one wants to lose at the trial court level, but having an appellate court give it a stamp of approval can be even worse. The loser may then be living with the consequences for years to come. However, mediating the case before there is a decision on the appeal, can result in reducing damages for a defendant, obtaining some damages for a plaintiff, or designing a resolution where the outcome is more secure, slightly less onerous, and works in the long run.

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Mediation Timing Part 2 – Commercial, Corporate, Employment

Mediation Timing Part 2 - Commercial, Corporate, Employment By Gary Shaffer{4:00 minutes to read} In my last blog about timing and mediation, I suggested that in divorce matters, there is a sweet spot of around 90-100 minutes for any single session. You can read that blog here: Part 1. This framework is largely irrelevant to other types of cases, such as:

  • Commercial;
  • Corporate;
  • Employment;
  • Personal injury.

In non-divorce matters, the parties and especially the attorneys expect to spend a significant amount of time during any one mediation session. There is more shuttle diplomacy, especially early on.

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Mediation Timing Part 1 – Divorce Mediation

Mediation Timing Part 1 - Divorce Mediation By Gary Shaffer{3:30 minutes to read} What’s the right amount of time for a mediation? As Goldilocks might put it:

  • What’s too much
  • What’s too little
  • What’s just right?

As in many such matters, it depends. Some parties fade quickly, others are happy to go on for hours and hours, days and days. What works differs from case to case. 

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Overcoming Resistance Part 2

Gary Shaffer, https://www.shaffermediation.com/, discusses ways to overcome resistance or objections in mediation Part 2{Time to read: 3 1/2 minutes}  During every mediation I try to establish a personal relationship with the parties and the attorneys. No, we don’t go out for drinks together. But I want to know more about the people other than the dispute that brought them before me. Often I ask simple questions. These may differ depending on the nature of the case. All mediations – employment, divorce, commercial, personal injury – provide opportunities for talking about more than just what’s in a complaint:

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Anger as a Pathway to Resolution in Commercial Cases

Gary Shaffer, https://www.shaffermediation.com/, discusses commercial mediation and managing emotions. In my last blog I introduced the subject of anger at a mediation. Many people tend to associate anger and mediation with snarling divorcing couples, arguing over who is right and who is wrong.

While this certainly happens, anger can be just as profound in commercial cases where parties may feel equally wronged by each other. At a minimum, one side does. This can present the mediator with a quandary:

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About Us

An honors graduate of Harvard University and the Cardozo Law School of Yeshiva University, where he also served on the Law Review, Gary brings more than 30 years of litigation and negotiation experience to his practice as a mediator. He has successfully negotiated and mediated resolutions in family matters, employment cases, commercial disputes, personal injury cases, and major civil rights matters.

Contact Us

Phone :- 347.314.2163
Email :- gary@shaffermediation.com

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