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Tag: Family

Does Familiarity Breed Contempt?

Image of Last Will and Testament ready to sign

{3 minutes to read}  Estate battles generally lend themselves to great TV. No, what I really meant to say was that estate battles generally lend themselves to mediation. They take some unpacking since the issues that give rise to them are often years in the making. Maybe decades. There can be distrust, hurt feelings, greed, anger. There are in-laws whose membership in the family may be recent or of long duration. The parties often don’t want to be in the same room with each other, something that mediation – but not the courtroom – can accommodate. 

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Practice Makes Perfect

Stock Photo Practice Makes Perfect - Image of man practicing saxophone holding music up with his foot.

{3 minutes to read}  There are 24,601 reasons why divorce mediation is preferable to divorce litigation. One of them, however, is that when a couple engages in mediation, they can create the details of their post-divorce life by figuring out together what works. In mediation, they can talk directly to one another about important matters, something divorcing couples often find very difficult to do outside of that setting. Over time, such conversations not only allow the couple to work out the details of the divorce — and creating a new life is no small matter — but help them create a foundation for future conversations. And when a couple has children, the odds are likely they will need to talk to each other for years to come.

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Mediating Family Business Disputes

{3:42 minutes to read} In my previous blog post on this topic, I described some of the general issues that arise  What Would a Successful Family Mediation Outcome Be? by Gary Shafferduring a mediation involving an intra-family commercial dispute. These included:

  • Resentments built up slowly over time;
  • Allies and enemies;
  • Divergent recollections; and
  • Emerging “alternate truths.”

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Should Mediation Be Mandatory?

Jurisdictions throughout the country are increasingly establishing mandatory mediation programs. Gary P. Shaffer - Should Mediation be MandatoryAt first glance, “mandatory mediation” would seem to be an oxymoron to the mediation community where “self-determination” is a fundamental tenet of theory and practice, trumpeted for years as one of mediation’s highest goals.

Is forcing people into mediation contrary to a fundamental underpinning of the field and therefore doomed to failure?  If it is, why are more and more jurisdictions adopting mandatory mediation programs? And, most importantly, does mandating mediation work?

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Is Divorce Mediation Always Successful?

Gary Shaffer, https://www.shaffermediation.com, discusses divorce mediation.

It is fairly well accepted that divorce mediation is a far better way to handle the details of unwinding a marriage than litigation.  If there are any assets and any kids, the parties typically know the details of both, and with proper guidance are capable of figuring out how best to proceed so that the kids and assets are dealt with fairly and everyone can move on to leading happy and productive lives.

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Patience – Is it a Virtue? Part 1 – Divorce/Family

Gary Shaffer, https://www.shaffermediation.com, discusses the value of patience in a couple going through divorce.Many factors affect whether a divorce mediation is successful.  One factor can be how the mediator and the couple are able to use patience as a tool.

It is often unrealistic to expect patience from the couple.  They may walk into the room angry, depressed, afraid, wanting to “get this thing over with,” or even seeking reconciliation.  Or one side does.  At a minimum, the parties have been unable to resolve whatever conflict caused the need for mediation in the first place.  They have already spent time and money, much emotional energy, and experienced no shortage of aggravation. 

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About Us

An honors graduate of Harvard University and the Cardozo Law School of Yeshiva University, where he also served on the Law Review, Gary brings more than 30 years of litigation and negotiation experience to his practice as a mediator. He has successfully negotiated and mediated resolutions in family matters, employment cases, commercial disputes, personal injury cases, and major civil rights matters.

Contact Us

Phone :- 347.314.2163
Email :- gary@shaffermediation.com